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erinakim
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Name: Erina
Location: California, United States
Birthday: 12/29/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: having too many interests
Expertise: indecision and revision
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
8/1/2003
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| I've only read 2 chapters of Walter Brueggemann's The Prophetic Imagination so far, but I feel like I've underlined half of what I've read so far.
His work is basically outlining the roots of Jesus' prophetic tradition by examining prophetic ministry in the OT, while also unearthing the royal/imperial consciousness of consumerism, numbness, and satiation which it countered. He argues that the prophetic must be imaginative, that it must extend beyond the ordinary and reasonable because God's reality is always completely alternative to the realities of the world around us.
I want to write a more lucid reflection at some point, but until then, here are a few quotes I am chewing on:
On knowing Yahweh
"The prophetic tradition knows that it bears a genuine alternative to a theology of God's enslavement and a sociology of human enslavement. That genuine alternative, entrusted to us who bear that calling, is rooted not in social theory or in righteous indignation or in altruism but in the genuine alternative Yahweh is. Yahweh makes possible and requires an alternative theology and an alternative sociology. Prophecy begins in discerning how genuinely alternative he is." (Brueggemann, 9)
On Prophetic Energizing
"It is the task of the prophet to bring to expression the new realities against the more visible ones of the old order. Energizing is closely linked to hope. We are energized not by that which we already possess but by that which is promised and about to be given... Egypt, like every imperial and eternal now, believed that everything was already given, contained and possessed...It is precisely the prophet who speaks against such managed data and who can energize toward futures that are genuinely new and not derived." (Brueggemann, 14)
On Doxology
"Prophecy cannot be separated very long from doxology, or it will either wither or become ideology... The evocation of an alternative reality consists at least in part in the battle for language and the legitimization of a new rhetoric... Doxology is the ultimate challenge to the language of managed reality, and it alone is the universe of discourse in which energy is possible." (Brueggemann, 17-18)
On Passion
"The possibility of passion is a primary prophetic agenda...Passion as the capacity and readiness to care, to suffer, to die, and to feel is the enemy of imperial reality." (Brueggemann, 35)
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| This past weekend, I spent time in Denver, Colorado for an InterVarsity Women’s conference, where we talked about being authentic leaders. Our speaker, MaryKate Morse, focused on our own formation rather than learning lots of content. Through our sessions, the practice of spiritual disciplines, and space to be present in spiritual formation groups, God did a lot in me to reveal how I’ve bee leading and what it looks like to be a truly authentic woman leader. One thing that I realized was that in my experience on staff, I’ve felt a lot of pressure to be a certain type of leader. There is a specific model of leadership that I see in my area that has been elevated- dominant values that establish what is praised and what isn’t. And in many ways, this form of leadership has been very “male.” The type of leadership I have often seen valued is one that focuses on strategy, thinking, planning, and vision. It’s a leadership that emphasizes action and efficiency and outcomes. It’s about what you know and see as a leader and how that shapes what you do and accomplish. It’s about being critical and innovative. It’s about claiming and using your power to influence others. It is very much a cerebral leadership. While these things certainly aren’t wrong (and aren't exclusively "male") I do think Lord has offered me a wider picture of leadership that goes beyond just these things. Mary Kate talked about a leadership that is more physical- an embodied leadership rather than a cerebral one. This type of leadership is more about who you are than what you do. It’s about relationship and not just activity. It’s about changing rather than maintaining. It’s about being in Christ rather than knowing about Christ. It’s about sharing your power rather than just asserting it. Somehow, in the midst of being offered a different picture of leadership, I began to realize why I so often feel tension, as an Asian-American and a woman in ministry. I realized how much I have based my worth and value as a minister by how much I know and what I accomplish rather than who I am. I’m always striving to do more, to see more, to strategize more, to plan more. I need to be smart. I need a plan. I need a vision. I need innovation. Since these are the things that I’ve felt valued and affirmed for, I’ve constantly tried to be smarter and more strategic. The problem is, that in the midst of this striving, I’ve felt a lot of anxiety and insecurity as a leader. I’m continually anxious about disappointing people, not being smart enough or strategic enough, or not living up to people’s perceptions of me. And my way of coping with this anxiety is an emotional distancing. I find myself coping by disengaging emotionally from people, maintaining a shell around me so that people only know what I think or what I say, but they don’t really often know how I feel or who I am. I’ve forgotten to allow the Lord to keep forming and transforming me, and to lead out of that place. Ultimately, this is not what leadership is about. Maturity in leadership comes in the willingness to take responsibility for our own emotional being and destiny. True impact comes when we lead out of who we are and not just what we know. As Mary Kate said, the people we lead will not always remember what we said or even specific things we did, but they will remember how we made them feel. Articulate words and strategic ideas may quickly be forgotten, but the presence you had in somebody’s life will not. I hope that as I continue growing and developing as a leader, that I will become more and more authentic in my leadership. I pray that my own transformation and experience of Jesus would always be the driving force in my leadership. I pray that my leadership would be one that is embodied, and that my life would constantly be a living parable of what I am teaching and passing on to others. | | |
| About 3 weeks ago at CCF's January Retreat, our fellowship had a time of corporate prayer, in which students and staff alike were invited to pray big and bold prayers for our campus. In that time, the one thing I specifically felt led to pray for was for a release of healing through prayer. I prayed that in this coming semester, every single person in our fellowship would experience an act of Jesus bringing physical or spiritual healing through prayer.
At the same time, I had been battling an ongoing cold that had left me congested, stuffed up, and uncomfortable. I had a cough that wouldn't go away, and there was something which felt like a physical lump in my throat that I felt every time I swallowed and tried to sing. This cold had affected me at least 4 separate times last semester and had carried over into the new semester. It was something I simply got used to living with, something I really didn't bother to ask Jesus to heal.
During the past few weeks since I prayed that prayer, the Lord has been doing an incredible healing work both in me and through me, bringing life and restoration not just to my physical body, but also to my spirit. He has been doing the impossible!
Here's what's happened:
About two weekends ago, while visiting the Ark, Holy Spirit spoke to me during a prayer ministry time about my giftings. Specifically, two things came to mind- a promise that the Lord would use me to bring healing and restoration to peoples' lives and a word that my voice was meant to break things. Somehow, these two things got put together, and I started feeling like Jesus was raising up a desire in me to bring healing to peoples' lives by breaking chains and strongholds through my voice.
Despite how clearly I heard these two words, I was unsure of what they meant and how they were to bear fruit in my life. I began to doubt if it was really from the Lord. And as I wrestled with my own giftings, the lump in my throat seemed to grow bigger. Every night before I went to sleep, it would be incredibly uncomfortable, hindering my singing and even my talking at certain points. I kept trying to drink water, thinking it would go away, but it didn't. There were some points where I even felt like I was choking when I tried to swallow something.
That following weekend, I visited the Ark again. During prayer ministry time, people were exhorted to get prayer ministry as an act of saying "yes" to the the destiny God was putting on their hearts. Immediately, my call to bring healing through my voice came up, but I was afraid to go up and get prayer for it. A little while later, somebody in the Ark encouraged folks to get prayer for physical healing and immediately my throat came to mind. But I was still scared.
I believed Jesus could bring healing conceptually, but was scared to actually ask for it- scared of being disappointed, of not getting healed, of doing something "foolish," of nothing "crazy" happening. So I cried out to Jesus, "I do believe, help my unbelief!" If I was going to get prayer for healing, He was going to have to make a way for me.
Just in the moment I prayed that prayer, the Lord opened up one of the prayer ministers- somebody whom I trusted and respected greatly- and I strangely found myself in one of those out-of-body experiences walking towards her. Suddenly, I was in front of her, getting prayer.
During that time, I was granted one of the most powerful, personal, and physical prayer ministry times in my life. I received word after word that struck something deep in my soul, and my body began to physically manifest all the things that God was doing in the Spirit - first in acknowledging the weight of doubt and frustration, then releasing heaviness and anxiety, to moving me into unexplainable joy, uncontrollable laughter and even spontaneous songs.
By the end of the prayer time, Jesus had healed me. Physically, I was completely healed of the lump in my throat and felt freedom when I swallowed and sang. But spiritually, I was also healed- of the doubt and insecurity that lump embodied. My question marks became periods. I began to embrace my calling as a worship leader who would bring healing to the nations through my voice. And I got to see Jesus work powerfully through a time of prayer, moving me (both physically and spiritually) in ways that I had never imagined could be possible or accessible.
But it gets even crazier.
Just this past weekend, I got to live out this calling and see this word actually be fulfilled as I led worship at a conference for Asian Pacific American students. For the first time in a long time, I felt a complete freedom and joy in worship leading and experienced a deep trust in the work of Jesus rather than in my ability to "manufacture" a certain result. I felt an authority in my voice that I had never really felt before, and confidence in the words and songs Holy Spirit had given me. Through it all, I know that Abba worked powerfully in students, bringing healing and restoration, speaking words of love and affirmation, revealing more of His grace and truth, especially through the time of worship and prayer ministry.
The crazy thing is that one of the main themes we were exploring this weekend was the idea of "inheritance," as we explored both the gifts and the generational sins we inherit from our families and our cultures. After the conference, I found out that my cousin who was at the conference also received physical healing for the first time ever through a time of prayer.
When I asked her more about her experience of healing, she went on to tell me that she too had been physically healed of a lump in her throat that kept her from being able to sing. She too had been spiritually healed of the insecurity, people-pleasing, and performance-orientation surrounding her voice and her singing. She had experienced the same exact healing that I had experienced the weekend before!
Who would have thought that in a conference called "Inheritance," my cousin and I would realize we have inherited the same giftings but also the same generational sins and unhealthy tendencies? Who would have imagined that Jesus would heal the two of us both physically and spiritually for the same exact things?
I am still in awe and complete amazement at a God who works in ways we could never imagine or dream up on our own. Jesus is a God who heals- both physically and spiritually- when we ask Him, and as He does so, He helps our unbelief in the craziest and most unexpected ways.
So I will continue to pray- that every single person in CCF would experience an act of Jesus bringing physical or spiritual healing through prayer. "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:23)
"Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed."
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| So I’m taking this Ethics class through Fuller right now, and it seems to be coming at quite an opportune time, as I’ve become more and more convicted that college students need better tools in thinking about how they make ethical decisions.
One of the things we talked about in our class was the concept of “moral norms”- how we make judgments about right or wrong. Specifically, we talked about 4 different levels of moral norms:
1) Particular or immediate judgments- the voice inside of us that says, “That’s just wrong.”
2) Rules- guidelines that tell us concretely what to do or not to do
3) Principles- may not tell us concretely what to do or not to do, but gives a framework for how to do something
4) Convictions- the basis for the principles we have, often times based on the character of God.
This conversation has been striking to me, as a campus minister, because I realize that part of the maturation process that many college students go through is that of character formation and the development of thinking in how to make ethical decisions. The reality is, that so many college students I work with come into college making the majority of their ethical decisions based on rules. And as they go through college, they realize how much they feel dissatisfied with making decisions primarily on rules (and rightfully so).
Yet often times, these students have no idea how to move beyond rules. They don’t have tools to think about the uniquely Christian convictions and principles that should be the foundation for the “rules” they have, and how these uniquely Christian convictions and principles should set apart their ethical decisions from the rest of the college campus. And in attempts to move beyond rules, I find too often that Christian students simply dismiss them altogether, call it living under “grace” and begin making decisions on whatever moral norms they can come up with.
Take for example, the issue of drinking, and specifically, underage drinking.
This has been a huge issue in our fellowship, coming up more and more, and I see that students are feeling dissatisfied with merely following a rule- “Underage drinking is illegal and thus you shouldn’t do it.” So in their attempts to move beyond acting simply based upon rules (or what students often casually label as “legalism”), they throw out the rule altogether and come up with their own principle for decision making- principles like “As long as I don’t feel guilty about doing something, it should be okay” or “As long as my actions are responsible, they are acceptable.” At this point one places their decision to drink underage on new principles beyond the rules they formerly relied upon.
The danger with these principles is that they are not particularly shaped by the ways or the truths of Jesus, but simply by other moral standards. In fact, I think these principles are shaped more by individualistic, humanistic tendencies rather than the unique ways and the truths of Jesus. Take for instance, the important principle that in Christian community, our actions never exist in a vacuum, and that loving our neighbor is inextricably tied to our act of loving God. As both Jesus and Paul repeatedly argue, we are not to exercise our freedom if it causes our brother or sister to stumble.
So this conflict causes us to look deeper, to the level of our convictions, and should make us ask, what are the ultimate convictions that guide our actions? Or maybe even a better question for Christians is, who provides the ultimate convictions that guide our actions? For Christians, our convictions must always come from who we believe Jesus to be, and the ways that He calls us to live in- not merely from our own thoughts or judgments.
In doing so, I don’t think underage drinking can merely be viewed as a question of legality or illegality. Nor can it be viewed merely as an issue of personal conviction and or personal freedom. In order to have a holistic approach to character ethics and moral formation, one must be able to look at all levels and make decisions based on rules or traditions, but on the uniqueness of Christ, and the ways that He calls us to live.
For me personally, this might mean that the underlying convictions for me in such a decision would involve loving God and loving my neighbor. Are the actions that I’m taking drawing me to love and worship God more deeply as the Lord of my life? Are the actions that I’m taking drawing me to care for and honor my neighbor and to consider their needs above my own? If I honestly look at the effects that underage drinking has had on our community- drunkenness, division, deception, confusion, judgment, gossip, exclusion – I don’t think one can really say that honoring God and loving neighbor are the core convictions behind any decision to drink illegally, underage.
As I continue to confront more and more gray areas in my ministry, I’m realizing that it takes a lot of time, work, and thoughtfulness to even begin knowing how to approach complex ethical situations. It is hard work. But I continue to hope that moving beyond rules would not merely cause us to dismiss them and free us to make decisions however we want, but would continue to take us deeper into understanding the principles and convictions that Christ would long for us to have. We must be willing to challenge each other to know and understand the basis for why we do what we do.
Ultimately, the actions that we take and the ethical decisions we make reflect what kind of God we worship and believe in. I hope and pray that we would continue to represent Jesus faithfully, not just within our community, but also to the world around us.
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| It’s been a few days since I got back from Urbana, and through my reflections upon all that I heard, saw, and experienced there, I can’t help but marvel at the uniqueness of Jesus. On the first day of the conference, during my time of personal prayer and preparation of my heart for my time, I heard God telling me, “Erina, I want this week to be about deepened worship for you, not just fruitful work.” Somehow, I believe that prayer was answered.
As I saw the truth of Jesus- His incarnation, His crucifixion, His resurrection- be incarnated in the words spoken, the songs sung, and the art performed, I became more and more convinced that there is no one like Jesus. And while much of these truths were thoughts I'd been wrestling with for some time, somehow, they started to come together and lead me into a deepened worship and awe of Him. No other deity or god in the world offers hope for this world in such unexpected and counter-cultural ways.
Take, for example, the Incarnation. The fact that an infinite, transcendent, eternal God chooses to become accessible to all of humankind by becoming finite, immanent, and human is simply baffling. That the divine God chose to take on Flesh and come into our neighborhood, to leave the perfection of heaven and enter into the messiness of the world, is merely evidence of the creativity of God. Who would have dreamed up or imagined such a thing? What other Creator in all the world loves their Creation so much that they would choose to not only admire it from afar but choose to enter in and dwell- not just among the beautiful and honorable places, but to dwell among the rejected and forgotten places; among the lepers and the prostitutes, the Nazareths and the Samarias?
The mystery of the cross, moreover, completely defies human expectation. It is an example that the way of non-violence actually requires more creativity and imagination than the way of violence. That Jesus chose to become completely vulnerable, forgive his enemies and to take upon the shame, the suffering, and the condemnation of the cross is something no human could have ever dreamed up. Such a radical role reversal- that the powerful would become powerless on our behalf, that the condemner would become condemned for our sake, that the betrayed would offer forgiveness to the betrayer- is truly unheard of. No other deity so freely gives up the right to assert and dominate and chooses instead the way of love and forgiveness. As David Barr so beautifully expresses in his commentary on "the Lamb" in Revelation:
“A more complete reversal of value would be hard to imagine. The Lamb is the Lion. Jesus is the Messiah, but he has performed his messianic office in a most extraordinary way, by his death. Yet his death is not defeat, for it is just this that makes him worthy…Jesus conquered through suffering and weakness rather than by might... Jesus rejects the role of the Lion, refuses to conquer through supernatural power, and we must now give radical new valuation to lambs; the sufferer is the conqueror, the victim the victor.”
Ah, and the resurrection. The beauty, the hope, the power of the resurrection! That death does not have the final say, that evil and injustice and darkness will not win, but that the resurrected and triumphant Jesus ultimately dictates our reality is the hope for even the darkest and most difficult experiences. No other deity defeats the power of death by fully experiencing it. No other deity solves the problem of human suffering by willingly entering into and overcoming it. No other god in all of this world invites us into a life eternal alongside their own. The resurrection offers hope for all of creation to be made new, for a life to be experienced beyond just what we see.
Thus, it is in Jesus that a God of paradox and mystery becomes incarnately revealed to us.
The infinite God became accessible by becoming finitely human.
The just God grants pardon by choosing to become the condemned.
The omnipotent God becomes exalted by choosing to humbly lay down power.
The eternal God offers unending life by choosing to die (and rise again).
There's truly no one like Him.
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